"Hi. I'm Palak."
"Hi. I'm Sanjay."
"So what do you do?"
I've done this a gazillion times. I bet you've done this too.
And it's so normal and typical. When you meet someone for the first time, like at a dinner party or networking event, your instinct is to ask first for their name and then jump to their profession.
It's an icebreaker. A way to get the conversation going.
But it also opens up a lot of insight into what we value as a society. We live in a world of doers, especially in the West. A "Just Do It" culture. A strong bias toward action, and more importantly, achievement.
And since this is imparted on us from a young age, it's just hard to shake. It shapes so much of our lives.
It also means we take focus away from other questions. Really important questions that, if neglected, can leave us feeling hollowed out.
I know what I want to do. But do I know who I want to be?
Krishna lays out a list of qualities we should be cultivating in our lives, setting a standard for our character:
Humility; pridelessness; nonviolence; tolerance; simplicity; approaching a bona fide spiritual master; cleanliness; steadiness; self-control; renunciation of the objects of sense gratification; absence of false ego.— Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 13
Where do you stand on that? What type of person do you want to be, irrespective of your social or economic status? And why?
If having a gratitude mindset is important to you, then how should that play out in your life? How will you be grateful when things are going amazing? Then how so when things are going all wrong?
It's not so easy when luck is not on your side. You had a car accident, which means some unexpected bills and hassles. Then you didn't get the promotion you were counting on. Then your close family member gets sick.
What will your response be when someone asks, how's it going?
One Way to Answer
"Honestly, nothing is going right and I feel like the universe is just picking on me. Nothing seems to be going my way lately."
Another Way to Answer
"You know, it's been a challenging couple of months, but I'm going to work through it with my head held high. Storms come and then they go. This one will go too. In the meantime, I'm reminding myself of all the blessings I have that will get me through this."
Building targets for your character will sustain you deeper and longer than checking the material achievement boxes.
Of course, achieving professional and personal goals is so important. They simply shouldn't be achieved at the cost of our inner development.
So, what kind of person do you want to be?